Outnumbered

After a 2 week “break” from work, Brian finally left Dominic, Blake, and me at home to return to the job.  He had already been working on his side business a great deal the last week or week and a half, so it was a slow transition from having him available constantly to not so available as he worked in the office at home to finally leaving the house all together.  I had dreaded the day he would go back to work since before I had Blake.  Brian, on the other hand, had been looking forward to getting back to work for the last week or so.  I think the combination of being cooped up in the house all day and the lack of sleep made this not the ideal situation for him.  Who could blame him?  To be honest, part of me looked forward to him leaving so I could go ahead and get started on a routine with the boys.  I was also terrified though.

I won’t lie, the first day of being alone with the boys was a hard one.  I was officially outnumbered – more kids than adults in the house.  I was used to double teaming Dominic or at least just having a man-on-man defense.  I couldn’t begin to know how I would deal with being double teamed by a soon-to-be 2 year old and a 2 week old.  Dominic had school in the morning, which I thought would actually make things easier, but as it turned out, it just made things more challenging.  Brian dropped Dominic off at school and then came back home to switch cars since he doesn’t have a car seat in his car.  The morning went fine because it was just me and a (mostly) sleeping baby.  I can’t even remember what I did, but I know that time got away from me and I didn’t get nearly enough done around the house like I had planned. 

The worst part of the day came when I went to pick Dominic up.  This was something I had stressed about for the last week or two.  How would I actually pick Dominic up from his classroom (since I have to go into the school to get him) while bringing Blake inside with me.  So I went in with Blake in the car seat carrier, which I placed on the ground of the hallway outside Dominic’s classroom.  As usual, Dominic ran out, gave me a hug, and expected me to pick him up.  I had been trying to transition him into walking out with me when I was pregnant especially since it’s pretty hard to pick up a toddler when you’re in your last trimester.  However, all of my efforts proved to be futile since Dominic insisted on being picked up and eventually started screaming and yelling and throwing a fit in the middle of the hall.  Although I know it was the wrong decision, I panicked and picked him up.  I ended up carrying Dominic in one arm and Blake in his seat in the other.  When we got outside I put Dominic down only to have him try to run away into the parking lot while I tried to figure out a way to hold his hand, the car seat, and Dominic’s backpack on the way to the car…and then figure out how to put both boys in the car.  It was a true juggling act – and a disaster! 

Friday was the next day of school, and my mom offered to come along in the car, so she could stay in the car with Blake while I picked Dominic up.  However, I still need to figure out how to manage picking up Dominic with Blake in tow. 

After the first day, things have been better for the most part.  We’ve been getting out of the house more and more for playgroups and even to run errands, which I think has helped.  I even ventured out to both Target and Costco with the boys – all by myself!  And we all survived.  It was a true victory.  At Target I put Dominic in his regular seat facing me, and Blake stayed in his car seat carrier in the main part of the cart.  This seemed to work pretty well as Dominic didn’t even realize that Blake was in the cart with him until halfway through a trip when Blake made a noise (in his sleep).  However, the only problem was that with the car seat in the main part of the cart, this left very little room to put the stuff I was buying.  I had to put the items around his seat and on the bottom of the cart.  I guess it’s a good way to keep from buying a lot of stuff. 

The trickiest part was putting the boys in the cart and taking them out.  I parked as close to the cart racks as I could, no easy task during the holidays, and ended up parking across from the rack.  I locked the boys in the car and ran to the rack to get a cart and quickly returned.  Unfortunately, Dominic flipped out and was sobbing when I got back because he thought I was leaving him (apparently his biggest fear in the world – so sad!).  It ended up being fine, but once again took some juggling (story of my new life?). 

The most challenging thing I’ve experienced as a “baby buncher” (the term used for parents who have 2 kids under 2 years apart) is Dominic’s tantrums which had been increasing in the last week and a half or so.  Needless to say, he was spending a LOT of time in timeout in the last week and a half as a result.  We even started implementing 2 minute timeouts instead of 1 minute ones because he’s so close to being 2 years old (the rule is 1 minute for each year of age) and the 1 minute timeouts just weren’t cutting it anymore.  I’m not sure if these tantrums were due to the big change in his life of getting a new brother, his 2 year molars starting to come in, lack of sleep, the terrible twos, or a combination of all of the above. 

The thing is that Dominic doesn’t seem to show that he has much, if any, of an issue with Blake.  In fact, usually Dominic shows no interest in him or too much of an interest in him, wanting to kiss and hug him so much that I’m worried that Blake will be suffocated or crushed.  Dominic never tries to hurt Blake intentionally though…quite the opposite.  Blake’s asleep so often that sometimes I don’t think that Dominic remembers that Blake’s even around and doesn’t actually seem to mind (usually) when he’s crying except to go over and kiss him and try to make him feel better, like the good big brother that Dominic is. 

Having Blake around has caused a big change in our lives though as far as change in routine now that we’re staying home a lot more as well as an increase in visitors, something that’s hard for a shy kid like Dominic.  The holidays have added to this less-structured setting too.  We don’t have our regular activities, something that Dominic and I aren’t too happy about.  He and I both love our structure and getting out of the house! 

Dominic continues to make me laugh daily (between tantrums).  He’s been good about not trying to use Blake’s baby stuff although he does like the toys people bring for Blake.  He has picked up Blake’s bottles of breastmilk, looked at me with a funny smirk, and pretended to drink it, but he seems to know that it’s Blake’s and not his.  When Blake is crying, Dominic has also tried to give him a pacifier.  One time, Dominic decided to try out this pacifier thing (Dominic is a certified thumbsucker who hasn’t used a pacifier since he was about 6 months old).  Upon putting it in his own mouth, Dominic promptly made a terrible face and spit it out.  I don’t know exactly what he expected the pacifier to taste like (candy perhaps?), but he was obviously disappointed.  It’s moments like these that make me really appreciate being a mom of 2 such adorable boys!