Home Sweet Home

 

Brotherly love!

It was great being back at home with Dominic, Blake, and our comfortable beds, but the first couple of days were extremely overwhelming and exhausting for Brian and me.  My hormones were still crazy, so I was crying at every little stressful moment (and there were a lot).  I think for the next time, I’ll probably stay in the hospital for the full time, just to allow my hormones time to regulate before being thrown into the stressful situation of being back at home.  On the other hand, Brian was ecstatic to be back at home since he wasn’t sleeping well in the hospital. 

What’s funny is that for the last 10 months I had been stressing about how Dominic would handle having a new baby in the house.  I read books about how to deal with the transition and figured that I didn’t need to take out the babies books I read when I was pregnant with Dominic because I “just” went through that when I was pregnant the first time.  However, as it turned out the first few days were a breeze as far as Dominic went.  He was sweet, always kissing Blake, and didn’t act out at all (at the time).  On the other hand, Brian and I had completely forgotten how tiring dealing with a new baby can be.  I felt like I had studied so much for a test only to find out that I had studied the wrong chapters. 

The lack of sleep has by far the hardest part.  With Dominic, we would just sleep during the day when he slept (which was most of the day), but with Blake we aren’t able to do that because someone still had to watch and entertain Dominic.  The first few days Blake’s days and nights were mixed up, so we had to work on that.  Brian’s mom came over the first morning and watched Blake as we slept and Dominic was (thankfully) in school for the morning.  Dominic’s nap time became our standard nap time and pajamas were our family’s uniform around the house.

My sleeping angel 

To combat Blake’s nocturnal behavior, we tried to keep him up during the day more.  One of the biggest things was taking him out of his pajamas and putting him in “day clothes” that weren’t as warm and cozy – or sleep inducing for him.  That seemed to work well.  Within a couple of days, Blake was basically on a schedule of waking up twice a night.  He’d go to sleep around midnight and wake up around 3:00 or 4:00 and again at 6:00 or 7:00.  Brian and I traded off shifts.

Look at those big, brown eyes!

People started bringing us meals too, which was very helpful.  My sister-in-law set up a meal calendar that filled up surprisingly quickly.  Our friends are just amazing and generous – and great cooks!  The only problem is that Dominic started acting out whenever any of these people would bring food over.  It seems to be less about Blake and more about these people coming over, and then Brian’s and my attention would be on our guests instead of on him.  This behavior was compounded by the fact that Dominic’s 2 year molars started coming in while we were in the hospital.  Perfect timing!  I don’t think it helped that the three of us became couch potatoes during our exhaustion, watching TV for hours and hours each day.  I also have noticed on our video monitor that Dominic isn’t sleeping as well at night.  He appears to be waking up a lot, so I think he’s a lot more tired during the day.  Plus his naps have been under 2 hours, adding to his tiredness.  I’m not sure if it’s the baby being awake at night, Dominic’s molars, or a combination of the 2 that are causing these sleep issues, but I’m not really sure what to do for my poor, little boy. 

To make matters worse, I came down with a fever and was very sick for a couple of days about a week after Blake was born.  It turned out to be an indirect reaction to the Percocet that I took for the pain after his birth for several days.  Since it made me feel kind of weird, I didn’t actually want to take it, but Brian insisted.  Being sick left me feeling like I had the flu, being achy, having no energy, and just overall malaise.  Poor Brian had to take over the house, and I had to continue to try to pump despite how horrible I felt.  It’s very difficult to have absolutely no energy and take care of 2 kids. 

Yes, you probably noticed that I mentioned pumping.  I’ve gone back to pumping, which I had done for about 14 months with Dominic including the time when I became pregnant with Blake.  I tried breastfeeding, but it’s been very painful, so I was giving it some time for things to heal before continuing to try to breastfeed.  I get a lot of “feedback” from moms about breastfeeding.  Obviously, the breastfeeding moms all encourage me to keep trying, and the non-breastfeeding moms tell me it’s okay if it doesn’t work.  Everyone thinks pumping is crazy, which I know it probably is, but I’m so used to it at this point that it seems like the not-so-great solution that I might fall back into if breastfeeding continues to be this difficult.    Additionally, I’ve investigated the La Leche League which is some organization that meets nearby and a big breastfeeding support group.  Who knew breastfeeding was so complicated? 

The last week or so of Brian’s 2 week paternity leave (one week of paid paternity leave and a second week of sick/vacation that he used), Brian started doing a lot of work on his side business.  Since he owns the business it’s honestly very difficult for him to take time off despite the fact that that had been the plan we discussed prior to Blake’s arrival.  I think that Brian was growing increasingly tired (literally) of being home and itching to get back to work, encouraging him to work more at home.  While he was in our home office working, that left me alone with both boys.  It worked out well that Brian would leave for shorter periods of time to get me used to handling both boys at once alone.  I was truly terrified and dreading the day that Brian went back to work, leaving me alone all day long with Dominic and Blake.  This made the transition a little more gradual and easier for me I think. 

Our 1st trip to Target.  I needed help, so Brian came along.

My biggest fear has been taking both boys out to the grocery store.  This is something that I have stressed about basically since I found out I was pregnant.  I just don’t know how logistically it will work.  How do both boys and all of the food fit in the cart??  How will I handle putting both boys in the cart to begin with?   So I asked Brian to come with the boys and me to Target (my favorite store) to help me figure it out.  They had a cart with a kids’ seat in the back, so I could put Blake up on the actual cart in his car seat like I used to do with Dominic.  Dominic wasn’t a fan of sitting in that new seat though.  I have a feeling that I might have to wait to go to the store when Dominic is in school, which I hate because he honestly loves going to the grocery store with me.  I could leave Blake with someone while I take Dominic to the store as well.  I think it’ll get easier once Blake can sit up in the seat with Dominic, but until then I think it will be difficult.  I still need to try to “wear” Blake in one of those front carriers.  We have 2 that I need to look at.  I never used it with Dominic, but Brian did once or twice.  Dominic wasn’t a huge fan of being “worn,” but I’ve been told that with 2 like this, wearing the baby will make things much easier. 

The 4 of us have taken some other mini-trips in public.  It’s funny with Dominic we waited about 6 or 7 weeks before we took him out in public as a newborn.  With Blake, the germs don’t even concern me as much because I know Dominic will be bringing everything and anything back home with him from “school.”  Plus Dominic and I have been itching to get out of this house.  He seems to do better when he’s not cooped up all day, and I feel I’m the same way. 

We took both boys to Monkey Joe’s one day, keeping Blake in his seat the entire time and trading off whom played with Dominic on the inflatables.  Dominic had a ball, running around and playing.  He made friends with some boys there.  I think it was just what he needed, but we had to do it before Brian went back to work because there’s no way I could take him and Blake by myself since Dominic still requires a lot of help, supervision, and encouragement getting up on the inflatables. 

Blake was excited for his 1st trip to Monkey Joe's.

Dominic loved jumping on the inflatables and getting out of the house.

Dominic having a blast.

Dominic and Daddy having so much fun together.

The 4 of us also went to the Botanical Gardens the evening before Brian went back to work to look at the Christmas lights.  Brian and I used to go every year to look at Christmas lights.  It’s one of my favorite things to do in the world around Christmas time.  Brian even proposed to me at Lake Lanier at 2 days before Christmas.  We considered going back there, but it seemed impractical with the drive and everything.  The Botanical Garden was fun and the lights were beautiful.  Dominic seemed to love them too, but his behavior wasn’t the best.  At first he wanted to walk around but by the end he was sitting in the stroller, making things MUCH easier.  Brian and I both agreed that Dominic probably did better in this situation than he would have in the car for 2-3 hours. Blake, of course, just slept the entire time.  It was a nice family adventure! 

As I continue to recover from giving birth, I’m enjoying being able to wear non-maternity pants again.  I despise maternity pants.  It’s a bit frustrating though that I don’t fit in my clothes the same way as before.  I’ve lost about 20 pounds at this point, but I still have about 20 more to go, and then I would like to continue to lose 10 to 20 more (yeah, right).  I’m hoping to get back into swimming as soon as the doctor says I can although the logistics of that might make it difficult. 

Uh oh!

As we continue to settle into this new (crazy) life, I’m really trying to keep things as consistent as possible especially for Dominic.  He and I both are used to it being just the two of us, so I think the change has been hard on both of us.  When we first got home from the hospital, I was overwhelmed with the thought that Brian and I had this whole parenting thing down.  We were like a well-oiled machine in our routines.  It was very hard for the first couple of days trying to adjust our nightly rituals like bed and bath time when we threw a little baby into the mix.  I feel like at this point it’s much easier for us, but with the crazy hormones it was challenging at first. 

I try to be as positive as possible with Dominic.  Any time he shows affection toward Blake (which is a lot), I try to reinforce that positive behavior, but Dominic does get a little carried away at times, leaning on poor Blake or kissing him to much or too hard.  It’s a little scary.  To be honest, I can walk into the kitchen and not have to worry too much though because Dominic appears to try to be affectionate just when someone else is around, so he can get the praise that he’s looking for.  It’s pretty funny. 

All ready for Christmas with our 4 stockings hung.

In order to let Dominic feel some of the normalcy of Mommy-and-Dominic time that I’m sure he’s craving at this point, I try to make sure to work on his letters with him at every meal.  I know he feels good when he knows his letters.  We’re also working on numbers and colors at this point.  I think with the lack of sleep and all of the stress, Brian has been a little less patient with Dominic, so I keep having to remind Brian that Dominic doesn’t have the cognitive capacity yet to fully understand that he has to be so gentle with Blake, and that yelling at him about it will not help.  I just try to make sure that I separate Dominic from Blake when he gets carried away as quickly as possible, while staying as positive as possible. It’s definitely a challenge.  Juggling things continues to be a work in progress, but I feel like things are getting a little better (almost) every day.  Hopefully that continues! 

The Fantastic Four! :)