Time for Timeout

running around the house, probably getting into some kind of trouble

I've read countless books, articles, and websites regarding the topic of "timeout" recently.  Most of them say similar things about how timeout isn't for every child and some “experts” claim that timeout doesn't work.  My thinking is that I have to give it a try before I can say it doesn't work for Dominic.  Discipline seems to be based on an individual child’s personality and needs, and right now this kid definitely needs some kind of intervention for his behavior!  Lately, his hitting, biting, and tantrums (which he prefers to have primarily just in public) have become more than I can withstand.  So Brian and I decided to officially start timeout with Dominic over the long weekend. 

I’ve been pretty confused as a couple of things with the whole timeout process: first, at what age should I start this?  Most of what I read say 18 months, but I’ve heard as young as 9 months.  Again, it seems to depend on the child.  Right now Dominic appears to be in need of some serious disciplining, so at just under 17 months, we’re starting it.

My second question is at this age how do I actually give Dominic timeout.  I mean, how does it actually work, logistically.  He loves sitting in chairs at the moment, so the “timeout chair” seems to actually be more of a reward than a punishment/consequence for negative behavior.  I’ve been told and read all sorts of answers to this – put the child in their crib or high chair, leave them in the room alone, or just keep holding them with an arm in the chair.  However, I’ve also read the opposite, not to use the crib or high chair for timeout because then Dominic will associate those places negatively and start not wanting to sleep in his crib or eat in his highchair because they’re "bad" places. 

The next idea about walking out of the room when he does something like hit me and leaving him there sounds much more logical to me because leaving him alone is the biggest punishment he can get since he’s so social, but the problem with this one is that Dominic just follows me into the other room.  The suggestion of putting Dominic in a chair and holding him there is laughable.  First of all, who are we punishing here - him or me?  To have to restrain Dominic is a lot easier said than done, a lot.  He would just hit more and behave even worse in that situation of being held down.    

So the best solution that Brian and I came up with for Dominic is to make the dining room the timeout room.  Since we’re getting the French doors put on our living room/office, we’re taking the baby gate that had been where those doors were, and putting it in the dining room doorway and then closing the door from the kitchen into the dining room, so Dominic is blocked in the dining room.  We’re then leaving him in timeout there for a minute since he’s a year old, while we are out of eye shot or ear shot of him.  Whoever puts Dominic in timeout has to be the one to remove him so he doesn’t think one of us is the good cop and the other is the bad cop.  

We started this over the weekend, and he went into timeout 3 or 4 times.  I haven’t seen too much of an improvement in his behavior yet (unfortunately), but I’m sure it will take some more time.  We’re also still trying to figure out how to handle timeout in public if any of you parents out there have suggestions.  

Family picture at the Dunwoody Parade 

The Mortons’ July 4^th weekend was like every other holiday we ever celebrate – a busy one.  But it was also a lot of fun.  Dominic and I always love having Brian home an extra day, and we also filled the weekend with a lot of fun activities.  On Saturday, the three of us spent the morning swimming around at the pool and then the afternoon at Babies R Us ordering a new convertible crib for Dominic (thank you, 4^th of July sale) and getting a new video monitor addition for Baby #2. 

   

the boys at the parade

Sunday we started our 4^th of July festivities by going to Brian’s parents’ house for a cookout along with his grandmother (D's great-grandmother) and family friends.  Then Monday morning we went to the Dunwoody 4^th of July Parade – a new family tradition of ours that began last Independence Day, went to our neighbor’s pool party, and after that continued on to my parents’ house for another cookout.  Dominic really seemed to enjoy the parade itself, but he had a really hard time waiting around beforehand.  This was definitely one of those times when we were in public and needed to put Dominic in timeout.

Of course, Dominic makes the crazy face for his picture with Mama. 

Then there were the fireworks.  We decided to let Dominic go to bed late so we could take him to the see the fireworks since we knew he would enjoy them.  We attempted to go to the same spot we discovered last year, a parking lot near Dunwoody Country Club to watch their fireworks, but then DCC decided to cancel them due to the weather.  Brian, Dominic, and I ended up watching our neighbors’ set off some small fireworks in our neighborhood before we finally put Dominic to bed only 45 minutes late.  Dominic loved the fireworks, so hopefully next year the weather will be better!

What's better than a parade?  Apparently, getting a balloon at a  parade!

 The big news is that Brian and I decided to send Dominic to a church’s Parents’ Morning Out Program once a week beginning in September.  We registered him this morning.  I’m very nervous about sending Dominic (especially with the hitting behavior), but I’m also extremely excited and firmly believe this will be a good experience for him as well as for me.  For one thing, I think the structure will be very beneficial to Dominic.  I also think since he’ll be on the young end, that it will be helpful for him to be around other older kids.  All but one kid in his 2 main playgroups are younger than him, so they don’t really model much for Dominic.  Exposing him to older peers will hopefully expose him to more skills.  Additionally, the program will provide consistency especially after Baby #2 gets here and things will be crazier.  The PMO program will also give me 3 hours a week to get things done or to rest both while I’m pregnant and after Baby #2 is born.  Honestly though, my main motivation is that this will benefit Dominic.  

Dominic is continuing to nap 2 hours each day.  I have come to the conclusion/realization that 3 hour naps are a thing of the past. L  I love seeing how much more he understands with what we’re saying every day.  It’s truly amazing.  He plays independently very well (as long as I’m sitting in the room) and of course is still climbing on anything and everything incessantly.  We have to bathe him almost every day now because it’s so hot out that he gets very sweaty.  His head full of hair certainly doesn’t help with that problem. 

Dominic’s swimming is coming a long way these days.  He “swims” from one person to the other, going under water and knowing to hold his breath and even usually close his eyes when we count to three.  We have even started letting go for a second when we “hand him off” in the water.  I’m continuing to think hard about joining a gym with a pool in September, so we can continue working on his swimming over the winter.  It would cost monthly about the same as it does to take a swim class, but I feel like he’s progressed much more with me than he did in his swim classes – although those were a nice introduction for his comfort level.  I worry that I won’t use the gym membership enough though especially once Baby #2 arrives.  Then again it might work really well to drop Baby #2 off at Nonna’s while I take Dominic to the pool for some Mommy-Dominic time, just us.  I'm thinking if I schedule 2 times a week of us going to the pool together that it would be great not only for his swimming but also for giving Dominic time to spend with Mommy without Baby #2 around, which I think is very important.

Speaking of Baby #2, I’m 18 weeks along now in my pregnancy and feeling well.  My energy level continues to be my biggest complaint but isn’t as much of an issue at this point (which I say today, but could always change tomorrow).  The baby is kicking and moving around like crazy.  I absolutely love feeling him in my belly.  It's by far, the best part of pregnancy.  On Tuesday, I had a checkup with my OBGYN and was able to hear the baby’s heartbeat (no ultrasound this time L ), and she said everything looked and sounded good.  I also had some blood drawn but overall it was a very quick appointment.  In less than 2 weeks, Brian is taking the day off of work so we can get my 20 week ultrasound at Northside and see Baby #2…on my birthday!  It will definitely make my 29^th birthday much better to get to see my baby boy.  

Everyone keeps asking me about the baby’s name.  We have decided to keep it a secret again until he's born.  Nobody except Brian, Dominic, and I are in on the secret, but I will reveal the initials.  They are BCM, which are also Brian’s initials, but I will tell you that Brian and Conway (Brian’s first and middle names) are not Baby #2’s names.  The only name the two will share is Morton.  I think I’ll start referring to Baby #2 as BCM2.  Counting the days till my birthday so we can see BCM2 then!! J